To Whom It May Concern:
Thank you for giving me a daughter who from sun-up to sundown has at least 12 mental breakdowns (do the math). Thank you for giving me a daughter who raids and pilfers the snack cabinet like a starving Hyena. Thank you for giving me a daughter who can barely take two steps without another bruise appearing. Thank you for giving me a daughter who hides milk cups throughout the house – leaving a spoiled surprise when they magically appear. I am especially appreciative of you giving me a daughter with the ability to use the worlds worse scream. Thank you for giving me a daughter who thinks Macklemore gave her $20 and it’s in her pocket. Also, thanks for giving me a daughter who refuses to have her hair brushed to remove rat-nests and knots from her head. One more thing, thanks for giving me a daughter who thinks ketchup is used for painting walls. Finally, thank you for giving me the greatest daughter a father could ask for.
Respectfully,
B.
P.S. – If you could get a hold of Jack Daniels and let him now I need another barrel of their sweet whiskey, I would appreciate it.